Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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