I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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