I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
