Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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