Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
