her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
