We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
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