the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When did we convert life to cartoon?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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