i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
