and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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