I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dick very happy bro
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
