what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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