Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
