We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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