plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
nutella sex= disaster
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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