as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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