nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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