From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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