we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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