We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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