I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
