its not stalking. its research.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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