i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
