Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
