Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
