what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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