the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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