Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
