is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
