your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
