I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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