The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I did not marry a roomba.
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