There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
