And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
