I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
