You were right. It hurts to walk today.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we should paint friendship bongs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
