I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
