This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need to align my fucking chakras
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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