i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
