Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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