We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
