i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
