He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
