You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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