I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
