We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i jhust puked up my retainher.
so that wasnt chicken after all
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
