Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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