I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
