after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
