doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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